In late February I wrote a post on Wedding Party Etiquette. I received quite a bit of feedback. A few people tweeted, e-mailed and commented on how helpful my tips and advice were. A few other people told me how “terrible” i was for writing such things. I want to hear from you. Instead of just telling me that I’m “wrong”, “terrible”, or that I must have been a “bridezilla”, tell me WHY!
If you haven’t read the post yet, please note, I wrote that from the perspective of a bridesmaid rather than a bride. I did not plan my own wedding with those expectations of my bridesmaids. However, as a bridesmaid in a friend or family member’s wedding, those are my expectations for myself and the rest of the wedding party. Call me crazy or just go ahead and call me a kickass bridesmaid. It’s up to you. But do me a favor, explain why!
Are you reading/writing from the perspective of a bride/groom? A member of the wedding party? Or are you just a blog basher (haha!)? What do you disagree or agree with?
As a bride/groom, what do you expect from the members of your wedding party? Anything? As a member of the wedding party, what do you bring to the table? What do you believe are your expectations?
A Lovelee Wedding 
I thought it was 100% helpful, honest and true. If anyone has an issue with it, they should read “The Bridesmaid’s Handbook” By Kathy Passero. She basically says the same exact thing, and the reviews of her book are raving about how helpful it was. No offense, but you aren’t asking a lot to have your bridesmaids get involved. I am actually astonished and upset by the fact that my bride hasn’t asked me to help with anything. The only thing she is allowing us to help with is choosing a hairstyle for ourselves. I feel like it is setting us up for failure and would have loved to give her advice and help with her planning. I know she is really stressed now, but she is under the impression that everyone is too busy for her, which really should not be the case since she has a wedding party of eight that could help carry the burden. I think too many people get caught up in being in the wedding and they don;t think of the reason why they get to get dressed up and walk down the aisle. It IS a special honor, one of the reasons I go above and beyond to try to help my brides. My sister was my first, and I can’t tell you how many hours I spent tying ribbons onto tags, making hundreds of invitations, making place-cards, and helping make her centerpieces and favors. She really appreciated it, and I think she was able to relax a bit more before her wedding as a result. I think people who don’t want the job should just say ‘no thanks’ I am sure plenty of other people would love to be in their shoes instead.
Thanks for the feedback, Jess! I will have to read that book! I am currently in a wedding where I have found that a couple members of the wedding party believe that simply showing up for all the main events (shower, bach party, rehearsal, wedding) is all that is required of them. We have set up meeting times to plan events and they have not even made an attempt to show up. I have not been in many weddings either, this one will be my fourth in my whole life (which includes being a flower girl). But when I said yes to this bride, I said yes to helping her with whatever she needed/wanted help with along with the expectation that I am going to spend quite a bit of money. Like your bride, there are many people who are fine doing things themselves. I think I was like that. When it came time to planning the wedding, I wanted to do almost everything myself. My maid of honor and our moms helped with putting together the centerpieces and favors. Other than that, we had no other help. However, I did not want to be involved at all in the planning of my shower and bachelorette party. I actually requested they plan these events without me present. I think a bride should make it known from the start what they expect of their bridesmaids. I always suggest keeping in contact with them as often as possible. By doing this, the bridesmaids will not be surprised when something is asked of them. I really wish that all bridesmaids took their job (because that is what it is to be a bridesmaid!) as seriously as it appears you and I do!